Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
