Say something about gay babies.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
