Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
