She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Two words: blizzard sex
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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