dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize