Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
