So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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