We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
