i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize