chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
