if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
im on a boat
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