You just made me feel so damn special
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
