You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
