I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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