big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
