Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I didn't notice because vodka
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
