do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
