i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
