We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
