The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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