her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize