i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
