butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize