If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
