ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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