I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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