it glows. i had to have it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
