easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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