i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
