The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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