Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
