I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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