i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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