David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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