I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
