Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
