For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
