please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
