your parents love me but you hate me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
