Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
