so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
