just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
