i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
