How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
