That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
