mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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