dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
