it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
