haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
