just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
