I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
