My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
