I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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